Hey love, Seloura here.

Anal pleasure is supposed to feel stretched, full, sometimes intense, but not scary. A tiny bit of tenderness after a big night can be normal. Sharp pain, ongoing bleeding or feeling unwell are not things you just push through.

This guide is here so you can tell the difference between “my body is adjusting” and “my body is telling me to stop and get checked”. It is blunt on purpose. You deserve clear lines, not guesswork.

This is general education, not personal medical advice. If you have pain, bleeding, gut issues, or anything that worries you, see a doctor or sexual health clinician who understands this area.

Why this guide matters

Anal is not a neutral act for your body. Muscles stretch, tissues move, nerves light up, your gut and your feelings both get involved. Most people are never taught where the healthy line sits between “normal soreness” and “this needs a doctor”.

On Seloura I am obsessed with comfort and safety, not just toys and lube. That includes being honest about symptoms that are fine to watch at home, and symptoms that mean you shut everything down and get medical help.

You are not fragile for wanting clear answers. You are looking after your long term continence, comfort and sexual confidence.

Quick takeaways

If you skim, take this part seriously:

• If bleeding happens again, or you are over 40–45, or have a family history of bowel cancer, arrange a medical review.
• Stretch, fullness and mild next day ache can be normal. Sharp pain, burning, heavy or ongoing bleeding are not.
• A tiny streak of bright red blood on tissue once that stops quickly can settle with rest. Bleeding that covers tissue, drips, clots, or keeps going needs medical review.
• Fever, chills, feeling very unwell, a hot swollen lump near the anus, or trouble passing stool are reasons to seek urgent care.
• New problems with holding in wind or stool after anal are not something to ignore.
• If you are on blood thinners, have bowel disease, recent surgery, or serious haemorrhoids, you need personalised advice before you treat any anal bleeding as “normal”.
• If you are ever unsure, it is safer to speak to a doctor than to sit at home hoping it goes away.

What can be normal after gentle anal play

Note: Even minimal bleeding that recurs or persists beyond a few days should be assessed, especially with changes in bowel habit.

Everyone’s body is different, but after careful, well lubricated play, especially if you are newer, it can be normal to notice:

• A feeling of fullness or “worked” muscles that settles within a day.
• A small ache when you sit in certain positions that eases with rest.
• A tiny streak of bright red blood on the tissue once after a bowel movement, then nothing more.
• A slight increase in awareness around your butt, like your body is just more tuned in.

These sensations should:

• Settle over 24 to 48 hours, not ramp up.
• Be mild enough that you can walk, sit and go to the toilet without wanting to cry.

Not normal: pain that spikes when you move, bleeding that keeps showing up, or anything that makes you dread the next time you need the bathroom.

Clear red flags, not normal

Additional red flags: unintentional weight loss, persistent change in bowel habits, or fatigue/anaemia which may indicate bowel conditions including polyps or cancer.

Pause anal play completely and move your body into “health first” mode if you notice:

• Sharp, tearing or knife like pain during or after anal play.
• Bright red blood that coats tissue, drips into the toilet, or shows more than once.
• Pain that makes it hard to sit, walk, or pass a bowel movement.
• A hot, swollen, very tender lump near the anus.
• Pus, green or foul smelling discharge from the anus.
• Fever, chills, or feeling shaky and unwell after anal play.
• Sudden new problems holding in wind or stool.
• Deep pelvic or abdominal pain rather than just surface soreness.

These do not always mean something serious, but they are strong enough signals that you stop experimenting at home. Comfort toys and DIY fixes have done their part. It is time for a clinician.

Common causes of anal pain and bleeding

Infections: Include STIs such as gonorrhoea, chlamydia/LGV, syphilis, herpes, and mpox, which can cause proctitis. Persistent or unexplained bleeding may rarely indicate polyps or colorectal cancer.

Only a doctor can diagnose you, but it helps to know the common things they think about when you describe anal pain or bleeding.

Anal fissures

A fissure is a small tear in the lining of the anus. It can cause:

• Sharp, cutting pain when you pass stool, sometimes described as “glass” or “razor” pain.
• Bright red blood on tissue or streaked on the stool.
• A lingering sting afterwards.

Fissures can follow hard stools, straining, or penetration that was too dry, too fast, or too big for your body that day. Many heal with gentle care, but some become chronic and need proper medical treatment.

Haemorrhoids

Haemorrhoids are swollen veins around the anus or inside the rectum. They can:

• Bleed bright red, especially with straining.
• Feel like soft or squishy lumps around the opening.
• Itch, ache or give a sense of pressure or fullness.

Anal play can irritate haemorrhoids that were already there, especially if lube was low or pressure was high. If you know you have them, you need slow pacing, generous gel, and honest talks with your doctor about what is safe for you.

Muscle spasm and pelvic floor issues

The anal sphincter and pelvic floor are not just “on” or “off”. They respond to mood, history and how safe you feel in the moment. When they clamp down, you might feel:

• Sharp spasm pain with penetration.
• A strong “brick wall” resistance.
• Lingering ache or tension after the session.

Some people, especially those with past pain or trauma, have pelvic floor muscles that stay overactive. Anal play without addressing that can keep feeding the cycle. Pelvic floor physiotherapists and doctors can help, but only if you tell them what is going on.

Infection and inflammation

Pain and bleeding can also come from:

• Sexually transmitted infections that affect the rectum.
• Inflammatory bowel disease flares.
• Inflammation of the rectum or anus.
• Skin infections or abscesses near the anus.

These are not “see what happens next week” problems. They need proper examination, swabs, possible blood tests and a clear plan. Guessing at home because you feel awkward talking about anal is not good enough for your body.

When to see a doctor urgently

Seek urgent care or go to an emergency department as soon as you can if:

• Bleeding is heavy, ongoing, or you are passing clots.
• You feel dizzy, faint, weak, or your heart is racing with the bleeding.
• You have severe anal or rectal pain with fever or chills.
• There is a hot, very tender swelling or lump near the anus.
• You cannot pass stool at all, with strong pain and pressure.
• You suddenly cannot control wind or stool and this is new for you.

These are not “wait and see for a few days” situations. The staff have seen all of this before. You are not the first person to show up with anal pain or a toy story. Their job is to keep you safe, not to judge how it happened.

When a routine doctor visit is enough

Book a standard appointment in the next few days if:

• You notice small amounts of bright red blood now and then.
• Mild to moderate pain keeps coming back when you try anal play.
• A known fissure or haemorrhoids are not settling with home care.
• You have persistent itching, rash or discomfort around the anus.
• Your bowel habits have changed and you are unsure what is normal for you.

At that visit you can:

• Get a proper examination, inside and outside.
• Ask if anal play is safe for you right now.
• Plan treatment for fissures, haemorrhoids or skin irritation.
• Check if you need STI testing or further investigations.

How to talk to your doctor about anal play

This is the part many people dread more than the symptoms. You know something is wrong, but the idea of saying out loud “I had anal sex” or “I use anal toys” makes your stomach flip.

You do not have to give a full bedroom documentary. Short, clear lines are enough:

• “I have anal pain and some bleeding and I am worried. It started after anal sex.”
• “I use anal toys and now it hurts when I go to the toilet.”
• “I have haemorrhoids and I want to understand what kind of anal play is safe for me, if any.”
• “I have inflammatory bowel disease and I want a clear answer on whether anal is okay for my body.”

If a doctor reacts with shame, jokes, or dismisses you, that is on them, not you. You are allowed to ask for a different clinician or another clinic. Your butt is not a punchline. It is part of your body and your health.

Medications and conditions that change your risk

Some people cannot afford to treat any anal bleeding or pain as “probably fine”. Extra caution is needed if you:

• Take blood thinners or anti platelet medicines.
• Have conditions that affect clotting.
• Live with inflammatory bowel disease or chronic diarrhoea.
• Have had recent bowel, rectal or pelvic surgery.
• Have severe haemorrhoids or chronic fissures.
• Are pregnant or recently gave birth.

If you fall into any of these groups, you need a personal chat with a doctor before you decide what counts as normal for you. On Seloura, my general guides always take a conservative line, but your doctor knows your history and can give specific yes, no, and maybe advice.

What you can do at home while you wait

While you are waiting for an appointment, you can usually support your body with:

• Stopping all anal penetration and toy use until you are cleared.
• Using warm shallow baths or warm compresses on the area for comfort.
• Keeping stools soft with fibre, water and gentle movement so you avoid straining.
• Avoiding harsh soaps, strong wipes or scrubbing around the anus.
• Resting as much as you can and paying attention to whether things are improving or getting worse.

What to avoid:

• Strong numbing creams or sprays without medical advice.
• Using random leftover prescription creams from old problems.
• Hiding the severity of your symptoms from your doctor because you are embarrassed about the cause.

It is better to walk in and say, “This started after anal” than to walk in much later with a bigger problem.

When to pause anal play long term

Some people will need to take anal off the table for a while. Some will need to retire certain kinds of play completely. That might be the case if:

• You have repeated fissures or severe haemorrhoids that flare with any penetration.
• You have ongoing pelvic floor problems that are not settling with treatment.
• You have had surgery or bowel conditions where your specialist advises against anal penetration.
• You cannot maintain comfortable, regular bowel movements even with support.

It is valid to feel sad or frustrated about that. Anal might be a big part of how you feel close or sexually expressed. It is also valid to decide that continence, comfort and avoiding long term damage matter more than one specific act.

Good clinicians and pelvic health specialists can help you make that call. You do not have to figure it out on your own.

A safer story for your body

Here is the version I want for you.

You know that mild next day ache can be normal. You know sharp pain or real bleeding is a stop sign. You have a doctor you can speak to honestly. You feel allowed to say no, to pause, or to retire anal altogether if that is what your body needs.

Anal pleasure should not require gambling with your health or silencing your instincts. You are allowed to treat your butt with the same care you would give any other part of your body.

Before you go

Take one breath with me.

You are allowed to:

• Listen to your body over porn and partners.
• See a doctor early instead of late.
• Step back for as long as you need.
• Only say yes to anal if it feels safe and wanted, not pressured.

If you are reading this because something already hurts, I am glad you are here. Your body deserves attention, not shame. Bring your symptoms to a clinician who understands, and let this be the point where you start looking after your butt with the same care you give the rest of you.

With love,

Seloura