Hey love, I’m Seloura.

Most people meet anal lube in a panic. A half-dead supermarket bottle. Coconut oil from the kitchen. Spit, stubbornness, and no plan. It feels fine for ten seconds, then everything turns draggy and sharp and your whole body says absolutely not. You pull back, feel ridiculous, and quietly decide anal is not for you.

I’m not interested in that version of the story.

Anal is not an afterthought here. It sits in the middle of the map. My whole approach is anal first and wellness first, which means lube is not a cute extra. It lives next to condoms and hand washing, basic safety.

On Seloura I recommend water based lubricants, especially thicker water based gels. They are predictable, condom safe, toy safe, and they rinse off when you are done. This guide is a calm, blunt breakdown so you can stop guessing with your body.

This is general education, not personal medical advice. If you have pain, bleeding, or gut issues that worry you, see a doctor who understands sexual health.

1. Why lube matters

The rectum does not self-lubricate. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anal canal produces no natural lubrication, so external lube is essential to reduce friction and injury risk. There is no natural slickness waiting to appear when you are “turned on enough”.

If you “just use a bit”, the story usually goes like this:

• Entry feels okay for a moment.

• The angle changes or depth increases slightly.

• Glide disappears.

• Inside, a few things are happening:

Without enough lube, movement creates shear, where layers of tissue drag across each other.

• Shear causes micro-tears. You cannot see them, but your body absolutely can.

• Micro-tears raise the risk of pain, bleeding, and infection.

Your pelvic floor is not stupid. It feels that drag and clamps down to protect you. That brick-wall feeling is not your body being difficult, it is your body doing its job.

Good lube changes the physics. Surfaces slide instead of grind. You have time to breathe, adjust, and respond. Your warning signals stay honest, so pain still means stop, not too late.

Numbing products do not belong in anal play with toys or penetration. If you cannot feel what is happening, you may only notice a problem after tissue has already been damaged, and some topical anaesthetics can cause side effects.

If you have ever had that “this was a bad idea” moment halfway through, you already know why I’m banging on about this.

2. Quick takeaways

If you skim, take this part seriously:

• The rectum does not self-lubricate. Anal always needs proper lube.

• For condoms and most toys, a thick water based gel is a very safe default.

• Avoid numbing lubes and “extreme” warming or tingling products inside the rectum.

• Use more lube than you think and reapply whenever you feel drag or resistance.

• Stop at sharp, burning, or pinching sensations. Step down to a smaller size if needed.

• If you change one thing, pick a good thick water based anal gel and use it generously.

You could forget the rest and still be better off if you actually do that.

3. Water based as home base

There are different lube formulas for different jobs. For anal with condoms and toys, water based is home base. Boring is good when it is your bum on the line.

What water based does well:

• Condom compatible: Works with latex, polyisoprene, and polyurethane. Check the label for specifics.

• Toy safe: Plays nicely with silicone, glass, stainless steel, and hard plastics.

•       Easy to clean: Rinses off with warm water. No greasy film sitting in skin folds or toy textures.

•       Body-aware options: You can choose fragrance-free, alcohol-free, and sensitive-skin formulas.

The trade-off is that water based lubes slowly absorb into skin and dry. That is supposed to happen. You reapply. Each top-up is a built-in check-in:
“How does this feel now? Do we keep going, slow down, or call it?”

 

4. Thick gel textures

Texture is where your experience shifts.

Thin water based lubes pour quickly. Good for some things, annoying for anal. They run down your hand, the toy, your crack, your sheets. Everywhere except the bit that needs cushioning.

Thick water based gels behave differently:

•       They stay where you put them instead of dripping away.

•       They give cushioned glide that is kinder to sensitive tissue and angle changes.

•       They feel more controlled, which helps while you are still learning what your body likes.

•       They keep the same condom and toy safety as other water based lubes.

•       A little water on your fingers can wake up gel that has started to dry at the surface.

You are likely to prefer a gel if:

•       You use plugs, beads, or larger toys that sit in place.

•       You want less drip and more steady, plush glide.

•       You like slow, layered sessions instead of fast in-and-out.

•       You do not want surprises while you are building confidence.

From my own shelf, a thick gel like Wicked Jelle Plus Anal Lubricant is made for this job. Anal-focused formula. No numbing agents. Toy safe. Condom safe. The texture stays where you put it and rinses off when you want it gone. If your skin is sensitive, patch-test first.

 

5. One simple upgrade

If this all feels like a lot and you just want a single, clear change, do this:

Switch to a thick water based anal gel and use it more generously than you think you should. Reapply any time you feel drag. That one habit will do more for your anal comfort than any fancy toy.

Good starting options on Seloura:

•       Wicked Jelle Plus Anal Lubricant

•       Other thick water based gel lubes clearly labelled for anal use

•       A simple lube applicator if you want to place gel a little deeper with more control

 

6. Reading lube labels

You should be able to flip a bottle over and know if it belongs anywhere near your butt.

Green flags — look for:

•       “Water-based” clearly stated, with water or aqua first on the list

•       Texture cues like “gel”, “thick”, “cushion”, or “anal formula”

•       Fragrance-free or unflavoured for internal anal use

•       Alcohol-free

•       No numbing ingredients such as benzocaine or lidocaine

•       No “extreme warming” or “intense tingling” claims for inside use

•       Batch code, expiry date, a hygiene seal, and a cap that closes properly

On Seloura, I do not stock numbing anal lubes. If a product needs to turn your nerve endings off to feel tolerable, it does not belong in your rectum.

Orange flags — pay attention if:

•       You are prone to thrush or irritation and  see glycerin high on the list

•       You have had dryness with skincare and see propylene glycol high up

•       You are sensitive and see lots of botanicals like aloe,  chamomile, peppermint

Patch-test on your inner forearm or upper thigh if your skin is dramatic.

Red flags — for internal anal use, these are a no:

•       No ingredients list at all

•       Strong perfumes or bright colours added for looks

•       “Fire and ice”, “maximum heat”, anything that reads like a dare

•       Oil-based lubes with latex or polyisoprene condoms

•       Random non-lube products like body lotion or kitchen oils used as lube

If you are unsure, keep that product for external play and get a plain thick water based gel for inside work.

 

7. Other lube types

I am not anti-silicone or anti-oil. I just want each thing in the right job.

Silicone lubes

•       Very long-lasting

•       Great for full-body massage and water play

•       Can react with some silicone toys, cling to fabric, and take effort to wash off
Best role: with glass or metal toys, and for long massages, especially in the shower. If you are not using silicone toys, many clinicians rate quality silicone lubes for anal because they tend to be low-irritant and stable.

Oil-based lubes

•       Rich glide and nice for skin massage

•       Break down latex and polyisoprene condoms

•       Linger in pores and toy textures and can trap debris
Best role: external massage, or specific setups with polyurethane condoms and toys that can be fully sterilised.

Hybrid lubes, water plus silicone

•       More staying power than straight water based

•       Easier to clean than pure silicone

•       Can still cloud some silicone toys, so patch-test on the toy base
Best role: for people who know their toys well and are willing to test.

Flavoured, warming, and tingling lubes

•       Fun for oral and very external play

•       The same ingredients that tingle on your lips can sting anal tissue
Best role: mouths, nipples, outer genitals. Not inside the rectum.

Short version:

•       Condoms + silicone toys + anal: thick water based gel.

•       Massage: silicone or oil, away from condoms.

•       Oral play: flavoured water based on the outside only.

 

8. Lube ritual basics

Instead of “we already started, grab something”, picture a calmer version.

Plan a quiet evening where the point is to explore, not to perform. Lay down a towel. Put your toy, your thick water based gel, and maybe nitrile gloves within reach. Phone on silent. No timers. No audience.

A simple lube-forward routine:

•       Prep gently: Bathroom trip if you like. A quick rinse with warm water is enough for most people. Skip harsh scrubbing and aggressive douching.

•       Choose a kind position: Side-lying with a cushion between your knees is soft on hips and back. Hands and knees with your chest supported also works.

•       Lubricate generously: Put a decent amount of gel on your fingers or a gloved finger and work it around the outside and just inside the opening. Think rounded teaspoon, not a tiny dot.

•       Warm up small: Start with a finger or a slim tapered plug. Let your body get used to stretch plus glide before anything larger.

•       Coat the toy properly: Cover the whole insertable length. Fix dry patches around textures or ridges before you begin.

•       Move with your breath: Inhale and stay still. Exhale and allow a small movement. If your body tenses, pause and wait for softening again.

•       Reapply before it hurts: The moment you feel drag, dryness, or less comfort, stop and add gel. A little water on your fingers can wake up gel that has started to dry.

•       Respect “no” signals: Sharp pain, burning, or a sudden wall means not like this, not right now. Go smaller, change angle, or call it for the night.

In partnered play, nothing changes. The receiver is in charge of pace. The person holding the toy or penetrating treats “more lube” and “slower” as normal instructions, not criticism.

If we ever bump into each other at a bar and you tell me you are still using spit for anal, I’m buying you a bottle of proper gel and we are having this chat again. Saliva is not an adequate lubricant and it is linked with higher rates of rectal STIs when used as lube.

 

9. Sensitive skin and irritation

Sometimes you do everything right and your skin still complains. It happens.

If you notice redness, itching, or a burned feeling after using a lube:

•       Rinse the area with warm water and skip soap there for a day.

•       Do not use the same lube again until everything has settled.

•       Next time, choose a simple thick water based gel marked as sensitive or glycerin-free.

•       Watch for ingredients that repeat across products that bother you. Common culprits for some people include glycerin, propylene glycol, fragrances, and certain preservatives.

See a health professional if you have:

•       Persistent or heavy bleeding

•       Pain that does not ease with rest

•       Discharge with a strong odour

•       Fever or feeling generally unwell

At that point it is not a lube problem. It is a medical problem.

 

10. Real talk questions

Is silicone lube better for anal?
Better for some things, like long massage and shower play. Not automatically safer. If you rely on condoms and silicone toys, a thick water based gel is a cleaner, lower-risk default. If you are not using silicone toys, a quality silicone lube can be great.

Do I really have to reapply thick water based gel?
Yes. Anal play uses more lube than most people expect. Reapplying is normal and part of looking after yourself, not a sign the product is bad.

Can I just use spit or coconut oil if I’m desperate?
Spit is not real lube and dries fast. Coconut oil and other kitchen oils can damage condoms and complicate hygiene. For serious anal play, especially with toys or condoms, they are not good enough.

Will anal lube stretch me out permanently?
No. Lube helps tissues move and stretch more comfortably in the moment. Long-term change comes from repeated stretching without recovery, not from the lubricant. Good lube lowers injury risk.

Do thick gels feel sticky and gross?
Cheap ones can. Good gels feel cushioned and slick. If things start to feel tacky, that is your cue to add more gel or a bit of water, not to scrub.

How long does a bottle last?
If anal is occasional, a 120 mL bottle will see you through several sessions. If it is regular and you use generous amounts, a 240 mL bottle makes more sense. The point is to have enough that you never feel like you need to ration.

 

11. A safer story for your body

Here is the version of the night I want for you.

You are not rummaging in a bathroom cabinet hoping whatever you find will not burn. You have a bottle of thick water based gel you chose on purpose. You know it is toy safe and condom safe. You know your rectum does not self-lubricate, so reaching for more lube feels like self-respect, not failure.

You move slowly. You breathe. You say what you need. If your body says that is enough for tonight, you listen. When you clean up, you are not scraped, stinging, or regretting it. You feel used in a good way, not punished.

That is the standard I built Seloura around.

If you want products that match this approach instead of fighting it, start here:

•       Wicked Jelle Plus Anal Lubricant, thick water based gel formulated for anal

•       Other thick water based gel lubes in our range, including options for sensitive skin

•       Applicators and beginner-friendly plugs if you want more control over warm-up and depth

 

12. Next steps

If this is the first time anyone has spoken to you about anal lube like you are an adult with a nervous system, you are not late. You are just finally getting decent information.

From here you can:

•       Visit the Wellness section for guides on prep, toy care, and aftercare.

•       Explore the Anal and Lubricants categories and pick one thick water based gel to be your house lube.

•       Give yourself one slow, unhurried session to play with lube, breath, and pacing before you invite anyone else into the story.

You do not need to be fearless or hardcore to have good anal. You need the right lube, honest information, and permission to move at your own pace. I can give you the first two. The last one is yours.